Catch up

I was hanging out with Karen today at starbucks nearby. Its been so long. We should really catch up. The thing about Karen and me is that we can talk for hours and at the end of it, I can only recall a couple of things we talked about. Hours seem like minutes. 2 criterias that says that our conversations are never dull.

As usual she asked me about her horoscope and feng shui. (I wonder if she is friends with me because of my interest in these areas). She is a Gemini.

*Quick horoscope review: Geminis are exceptional communicators (definitely karen), they are tactful and always find the right words to express themselves. (clear-cut karen) Geminis are also independent emotionally. If there is an emotional gap, geminis will look to mend it instead of waiting for a hero to come along. (explicitly karen) They also have a short attention span compared with most of the others. (fullhouse! karen!) I do not have to mention that symbol for geminis are twins do I?

Karen: “So what is my outlook for today?”
Me: “Oh man, are we gonna go over this again!?”
K: “Come on! Give me a reading!”
M: (now shes gonna make it seem like im asking her to talk again. She actually wants to talk about herself. Just want to make an excuse to do it)
K: “I’m actually thinking of cleaning my bedroom today. I feel that the feng shui is quite stale”
M: (she answered her own question. As usual) “Make sure you clean the areas behind your wardrobe. And scrub all the corners of your room. Wipe all your windows, inside and outside. Open your windows to air for a couple of hours. Throw away all your crap. When you are done, come over and do my bedroom!” (the caffeine is taking effect)

Actually it is best for geminis to get organized today. Which is what Karen is thinking of doing. The urge to get organized just crept up on her.
If Karen lights up whenever we talk about horoscopes, she explodes whenever we talk about feng shui! The subject of feng shui is just so fascinating to us. We just love to see the lighter side of metaphysics.

We were just talking …….then it happened!

This guy carrying this object like an Olympic torch walked by. Everyone is looking at him. (If he is on his way to Beijing Olympics 2008, he better go faster. At this pace he will never get there in time for the opening ceremony)

The attention is not actually on him. Its on the object. Nobody have seen this ugly object before. Even with all the feng shui aura that this object has, it is still ugly. It is the 8 auspicious objects. “Survivor” fans may mistake it as the immunity idol with a creepy fashion consultant.

Feng shui has to be practical. Whatever you decide to use to enhance feng shui at home should blend with the design concept and theme. I think that this design of this 8 auspicious objects will be out of place at almost any home. Its like placing a clown at the museum. Totally out of place! I don’t know the design of this guy’s home. But whoever recommended him to get one of these without consideration for his home design is not taking practicality in to account. It in fact gives feng shui a bad name.

Imagine your neighbor comes for a visit and sees it. He would go “This is feng shui?! Are you kidding me?!”

I’ve heard stories about feng shui practitioners recommending others to tear down a wall as the only solution to a feng shui predicament! Bullshit! There is never only one way to solve feng shui predicaments. If a practitioner is one-dimensional in his approach, he don’t deserve to practice feng shui.

I’ve also heard stories about feng shui practitioners demanding that the tenant throw away the aquarium as it is not suitable for the home! Bullshit! Almost every feng shui practitioner who knows his stuff will tell you of the benefits of having an aquarium in the house. You just have to locate it at the right area. A friend of mine actually gave away his $500 aquarium as a result of advice from a “feng shui master”. The reason this “master” gave? “Its no good!”. Triple bullshit!

Are you kidding me? The least your client deserved is to get his feng shui questions answered. (maybe “its no good” is the correct answer from the textbook ahahah)

There is one thing that makes a lot of sense to me in the pursuit of feng shui. It is that all feng shui applications have to be practical. You can give a dog a makeover, teach it new tricks, even get it to makes friends with the house cat. But you don’t ask it to meow! Its just not practical. All feng shui recommendations and applications have to blend into the house layout and design theme unless you already have reconstruction in mind.

Yes. An object may enhance feng shui. If it can’t blend into the house theme, you can also consider other objects that serve the same feng shui purpose. Like I said previously, imagine seeing a clown at the museum. Yes. It may entertain patrons, but is it practical? No.

*Feng shui guide: The 8 auspicious consist of the conch, canopy, vase, 2 carps, wheel, mystic knot, lotus, and pot. Displaying all 8 together will bring about good fortune and tranquility of mind and soul. It is better to display them separately but in a group. Don’t clump them together. They can also be used to overcome hostile energy like those present at a straight doorway. Just place them along the door way without blocking any doors. Do not place them at ground level.